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Showing posts from 2016

You Cannot Win

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(Fire in the Forest by William McCullagh) With a title and painting like this, you as the reader clearly know this isn't going to be a happy feel good post. Well, I'm afraid you are right. Now before we go any further I want you, the reader, to raise up your right hand and repeat after me. I am a human being, I am not perfect. I have the freedom of speech. I should not judge someone, as someone should not judge me. Very good! So lately I have been coming more tired with Facebook. All the cute happy photos of weddings and baby photos are starting to show up less and less on my news feed as once again, another social issue has shadowed over our nation. Something that I clearly would not want to talk about, because there are so many issues that came about before this one, and I know that more issues will come after. Transgender bathroom issue. No! Wait! This isn't my view on that topic! I know so many have already stated their opinion on this matter that I know you

The White Knight Complex

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(Knight Painting by Leighton) Due to the popularity of my last post, I decided that I will keep posting on these type of topics that are more reflected on people around my age. With that being said, I am sure all my readers can reflect on these topics in one way or another. As almost everyone has had throughout their life, I have had people that I would find attractive. People that we like are known as crushes. So when I would have a crush on someone in my school, my main focus was to make sure that the girl never knew that I liked her, and that maybe she would randomly approach me and some how we would be boyfriend and girlfriend. Well, that would never work so as I was going into high school, I had to think of someway for the girl to like me. Now this is out on a limb, but I would talk to her, and treat her with respect. Sometimes my crush still would not like me, due to her going for someone I deemed a "bad guy". Every time I had my heartbroken, my friends would

Relationship Status

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( Royal Splendour by Sophia Baddeley) Other titles for this post was going to be "All the Single Ladies", "This One's for the Girls", "Love: Whats up with that", and "(Insert some generic title that will falsely advertise this as something other than what you are writing about, such as some good absurd title like, "why I don't love my wife" followed by your post discussing about some scripture, which no one would read unless you had some edgy click bait title here)".  Since I was a little boy I knew I would have to experience many challenges in my life that everyone would experience at one point. Making friends, losing friends, having feelings, having a crush, drivers licenses, graduating school, going to college, finding yourself, make mistakes, make more friends, get a college degree, get a successful job, and then what? I guess maybe it is time to start a family. Believe me I'm in no rush or anything  like that

The Bat

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(Stuffed Bat by Vincent Van Gogh) The ending isn't that scary is it? The bat was such a peculiar creature. The animals welcomed him into the forest with open arms with him being the same as the others. He would seek advice by the bear, yet never applied anything he learned. He wanted to be like the wolves, and at first he could have been on of them, but he was impatient. Wolves went for greater game, yet he went for scraps. He was humble when he came into the forest not knowing anyone, but as soon as he became comfortable he knew who he would call friends and who he would call enemies. The bat wasn't strong minded, but would always fly high before he began to talk down upon the animals he saw as threats. The bat knew what to tell the animals, and he even convinced some of them to follow him. The only reason why they did was due to his ability to fly, which made him appear to be powerful. The only animals that could oppose him was the hawk and the owl, but they did not br

The Mountain Lion

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(Early Morning Turkey Hunt by Rob Dreyer AFC) Are you afraid? The mountain lion could have been the best thing to have ever come into that forest. The mountain lion would slowly make herself present to the other animals. She was fierce to the animals among her. Only the foolish animals tried to bring her down to their levels and failed. She was not to be taken lightly because her mindset was focused on the one thing the other animals did not want to see come into fruition. Change. The mountain lion could bring change and she did to that forest. Only few animals could climb the trees as the forest was washed clean. The wolf became occupied, the bear faded, the stag in a distant land. The forest needed a leader, someone to follow, someone that could make the forest to it's former glory. The mountain lion could be the only one that could make the forest what the forest was suppose to be to the animals. The mountain lion was strong, but sadly, I don't think strong enough. Sh

The Hawk

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(Red Tailed Hawk by Steven Nakamura) Where did you go? The Hawk is my friend. Never really became tangled with the web that was that forest. He always flew high above looking down as the animals would call for him to come to them. That was how the forest called all the animals into those long twisted branches. The hawk only came down when he knew he could fly away once again. The hawk was never afraid of the forest, but just did not want to be apart of the fight to climb up the mountain. He knew he could visit any of the animals that climbed it, and knew that he could take over if he wanted to rise above those animals. He just never had any interest to be apart of that life. Having wings gave him a wide span to explore where the other animals could not follow. I was only one of his many friends that would smile with glee when he came to see us in the forest. He was friends with many of the animals, and yet with many animals that knew him, he only was drawn to only a few of the a

"Who Watches the Watchmen?"

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(Night Watch by Rembrandt) … I know the plan that my friends always advise me to adopt: "Bolt her in, constrain her!" But  who can watch the watchmen?  They keep quiet about the girl's secrets and get her as their payment; everyone hushes it up. Hello everyone. This is really just another update video into what is going on with me and my life at the moment. A lot of stuff has happen recently and I feel that a good way to express myself is through my writing. I hope all my readers are doing good and thank you for reading my blog! Ever since the Dear Elizabeth series, I wasn't sure what to write about next, but I think this could be a good intro to a knew part of my writing. So this isn't my first writing of how I am feeling, and it most certainly will not be my last. I think I need to redefine myself. These last couple of months It appears that I may have begin to lose what my calling is in my life. I feel that God was calling me to help the peop

Dear Elizabeth pt. 10

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(Portrait de Madeleine Grey à la rose by Kees Van Dongen) March 17th 2019 Dear Elizabeth, Hello Elizabeth! I haven't heard from you in over twenty years! Crazy how time flies right? How have you been all these years? I heard you moved off to France. Your parents came back to my parent's church. I don't think they hate me anymore. I heard you became a wife, a lovely one at that, and I heard you are a mother. I'm doing well in case you were wondering. I have a beautiful wife named Cindy. She is a school teacher. Her and I just recently came back from an overdue vacation from South America. Her dream was always to help children in third world countries. We loved the children so much we actually adopted one of the children in the orphanage. She is almost two years old. Cindy and I decided to name her Sophie! I know that may be weird, but you and I always loved that name so that only seems right. I am actually an art professor now at the college I went to a long time

Dear Elizabeth pt. 9

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(Maria by Kees Van Dongen) August 20th 2014 Dear Elizabeth, Well this is the final letter Elizabeth. Never heard from you, so I guess you don't want me to meet Sophie. I just hope that she is doing okay. I'm sorry. This letter is the last resort to save my marriage.I think that it is time for me to get out of this fantasy that you and I will be together. It has been fifteen years since I lost you and I just don't think I ever really knew how to accept it. I just hope you and Sophie are doing good in France. I'm sorry. I know I'm not going to send this letter like all the other letters I have wrote to you. I know Sophie doesn't exist. I know that you never married Samuel. I know you never went to France. I know you never went to college. I know the truth Elizabeth. I know that bitter truth. That bitter truth that you took your life the summer before college. You just had so much in your life. You had a good family, full rides to colleges, and me, who

Dear Elizabeth pt. 8

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(Tamara the painter's muse by Kees Van Dongen) May 14th 2013 Dear Elizabeth, I am writing this because I know Sophie is turning two this month. I just want you to know I wanted to wish her a happy birthday. I know you can't tell her, but at least you will know. Cindy and I have been going to marriage counseling for over a year now, and I think things are really looking up. It's kinda funny, because this is the therapist we both had over ten years ago. Cindy was pretty upset when I told her about Sophie. She was enraged at first, but her anger turned to pity towards me. She keeps asking me if I really thought that she was my daughter. I don't think she believes me that I have a daughter. I think she is just in denial, she doesn't want to accept that I have a daughter, but her and I don't. She wants a child really bad. We try to have one, but due to medical reasons, I don't think we will be able to have children. Another reason why I was writing t

Dear Elizabeth pt. 7

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(Dolly by Kees Van Dongen) July 9th 2012 Dear Elizabeth, What is wrong with you. Ever since we slept together in France, I have been trying to avoid seeing anyone that could be related to you. I started avoiding going home so I wouldn't have to see your parents if I went to church. I found out that your parents don't go anymore for quite sometime. Well they just came back and they told me that they have been making frequent trips to see their granddaughter. I know Elizabeth. I know everything. She is over a year old now isn't she? She was born in May. I just find it so funny, that being nine months after you and I had that night in Paris. Why didn't you tell me that we had a child? How could you hide this from me? Samuel doesn't know does he? I am so mad at you right now. You read my letter telling you to come home, and you still stayed in France with my baby. I think the biggest insult to everything is when your parents told me the name of our daughter

Dear Elizabeth pt. 6

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(La Parisienne by Kees Van Dongem) August 18th 2011 Dear Elizabeth, I'm writing this letter to you to let you know that I admitted everything to Cindy. It has been a year since we met in France and I just couldn't continue to live my life hiding these feelings from my wife. I love her and I know that I could not continue to let this happen. So I told my wife about the affair. I think she really loves me with how she responded to me. She was not angry, but worried. She knows how upset I was about the whole situation and for that I think she is okay with the whole situation happening. She understood that I was once deeply in love with you and I guess she knew that, and that it was okay. She asked me if I still loved you more than her. I had to be honest with her Elizabeth. I told her no. I don't love you anymore. I waited for you to write me last year and I still have not received a letter from you. I knew you still wanted to live in France and be with Samuel. I

Dear Elizabeth pt. 5

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(Portrait of a Young Woman by Kees Van Dongen) September 24th 2010 Dear Elizabeth, I know we promised not to communicate after what happen in France, but I feel that I need to write this letter to you. I can't forgive myself of what we did when I came to France. I guess we just had a little to much to drink didn't we? I want you to understand that I did not mean for anything to happen the way it did. My plan was to just go out for some dinner and then I would go back to my hotel and you would go back to your home. Never was it my plan to have you at my hotel that night and then you leaving the next morning before I woke up. Thanks I guess for writing me that little note before you left. No I love you, I had a nice evening, just, "This never happened". I mean, I understand that we are both married and that this was completely wrong, but all I have in the morning is three words. This never happened, this never happened, this never happened. Well Elizabeth, it di

Dear Elizabeth pt. 4

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(kiki de montparnasse by Kees Van Donger) July 17th 2010 Dear Elizabeth, How have you been? I haven't wrote you in a long time. Hope you are enjoying married life. Your parents showed us pictures of your wedding. You looked beautiful in your wedding dress. Samuel is a lucky man! Cindy and I are doing really well. We've been leaving in a nice apartment downtown in  the city, but I think we may be actually buying a house soon. We have been looking around and we found this little house with a picket fence. The typical cliche home that Cindy is obsessed about, but you know, I think it is actually growing on me. Cindy has a good teaching gig in the city. The children are a little rough, but she's a tough one! I don't know if your parents told you, but I actually have a pretty successful career! I am an art consultant in the city now. I go with these multimillionaires and discuss what painting they would want to obtain for their mansions. The paintings they buy a

Dear Elizabeth pt. 3

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(Portrait de Madame by Kees Van Dongen) April 24th 2006 Dear Elizabeth, Let me start by saying congratulations on the big news. I know it has been a while since I wrote you last. I finally graduated from college, but I'm struggling to find a job that I could use my degree. I'm working at my dad's company, which isn't too bad. I moved back home with the folks, but its not so bad, who doesn't like home cook meals right? I've been sitting at this table in the local library of our home town. The one we would go to get away from everyone. Hiding among the empty aisles full of books. I find it funny that we were always in here, but never read a single book in this library. I remember all our little hiding places in this town. We had some pretty big plans didn't we? I remember you wanted to travel the world and live in different countries. Guess you succeeded in that. I remember all the late nights you and I spent together. All through high school we w

Dear Elizabeth pt. 2

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(Gypsy by Kees Van Dongen) December 23rd 2002 Dear Elizabeth, Thank you for responding to my letter! To be completely honest, I really thought you wouldn't even read my letter. I'm sorry, that made you sound like an awful person, which you're not. I'm just glad you are doing well in France! You make that place sound amazing. Maybe when I  graduate, I can score an artist job in France. My parents still give me a hard time sometime for being an art major, because they believe that there is no money in my degree. That is what my calling is though, and my God I'm gonna keep pursuing it. My best painting is the one of you I painted the summer before college. That was the painting that got me accepted into the art program here in the first place. Sorry I made you stand in that pose for hours, but it was worth it right? I think my parents have the painting in the attic, may go look for it next time I'm home. I am glad that you are seeing someone in France.

Dear Elizabeth

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(Corn Poppy Kees Van Dongen) June 12th 2002 Dear Elizabeth, How have you been recently? I know it has been a while since I last talked to you. I can't believe it has really been almost three years since I saw you! I know we really didn't end on the best terms, but I am writing this letter to really catch up with you, because I still miss you as a friend and nothing more. I heard you moved to France a couple of months back. Mom told me that your parents are starting to come back to church and we found out through them. Just to make it clear, they were just informing us in passing, I wasn't trying to be a creep and asking about you or anything in that nature. I am glad your parents don't seem to hate me like they did before. They miss you a lot and hope you would find a college back in the states. I am doing okay in case you were wondering. I am still an art major in college and I should be finishing up by next fall. I heard five years is the new four years a

Within and Without

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( The Great Wave off Kanagawa by Hokusai) Just checking in again with this blog post really. I hope everyone is having a good new years, and has enjoyed the couple of days of 2016. Crazy how time flies right? I have a lot more free time this year so hopefully I will be posting new posts soon, and hopefully more posts than last year. In case anyone is wondering, I am still working on publishing a book. I have written about half the short stories that I want, but I am constantly going back and editing my work, (unlike my blog posts). I have a lot of projects planned for 2016 and hopefully I can share some of my new ideas with my readers. Crazy how I started my blog 4 years and am about to hit 20,000 views on my page. With that being said, I really want to get the root of this post. This post is really going to be to everyone, because as we go into the new year, I wanted to just remind to myself, and to people something that I feel that we forget. Has anyone felt like the little