Inceldom

Todd Phillips Joker

In October of 2019, Todd Phillip's Joker was hitting theaters soon and I learned that possible terroristic threats were coming about due to the discussion of incels shooting up movie theaters in the same fashion as the 2012 Dark Knight Rises shooting in Colorado. With hearing the term incel in the past, I wasn't exactly familiar with the community or its purpose. Upon finding an active forum, I decided to learn more about this internet group thus beginning my journey down the rabbit hole.

So what is an Incel? Short for involuntary celibate, men who cannot form a sexual relationship with women due to many different external factors such as appearance, size, demeanor, as well as the woman's societal expectation in a mate. Incels believe that due to evolution, women are attracted to strong fit men that can provide for them in which they can have offspring. If the man does not meet the physical appearance they can still have a woman if they are financially wealthy. The incels separate men into groups, Alpha and Betas. Alphas are the men who can get any woman they want with no effort put in. The slang term for Alphas is known as Chads. The Betas are incels, men that may struggle with obesity, height, and lack of muscles. Since women do not find them attracted that they must resort to less attractive women. The Alpha version of women are known as Staceys and the Beta women are known as Beckys. Due to Staceys and Beckys always trying to go for Chads, incel men are left as virgins or men who can only engage in sexual activity through paid sex workers. Incels also believe that people follow one of 3 forms of thinking separated into three types of pills.

Bluepill is a set of beliefs that all people are different, couple matching is based on personal compatibility and genetic flaws are redeemable if you are kind and respectful towards women.

Redpill is a theory that suggests that people universally follow naturally predetermined laws, all women go for the most alpha (aggressive, dominant, physically strong, influential, wealthy, powerful, etc.) man, therefore, one can compensate for poor genes by becoming an alpha, hitting the gym, etc.

Blackpill is different from the Redpill is the notion that acquired status is inferior to inherent genetically predetermined status and women can only be truly attracted to men with superior genes.

Self-proclaimed Incel from Vice News

Now if this sounds sexist and out of touch then you are completely right. Incel's constant blame on genetics and evolution rather than the internal factors can reveal this group has many complications. Incels have this constant juggling act of wanting women to have sex with them and hating women for all the awful things they believe in. The biggest contradiction is that incels are all different coming from different beliefs and lifestyles while believing that all women and Chads are the same. Incels also struggle with forming any real relationships in the offline world, as well as having higher education or a job. Incels may also identify as Kissless, touchless, hugless, handholdless, friendless, virgin (KTHHFV). This version is known to have never had any physical touch with the opposite sex. Many incels also believe that gender roles are important as men should be the primary breadwinner and that women should focus on domestic duties and raising children. Women being able to form their own independence is also blamed by the incel community into why they cannot find a woman with "traditional" values. Another off branch that does not completely follow incels are known as men going their own way (MGTOW) think of MGTOW as the male version of feminism where men do not want to be forced to work just for their significant other spend all of the money. MGTOW does not want to be considered wage slaves to fuel a woman's shopping needs and believes that life would be better than sticking to a woman.

The question that comes up to everyone's mind is what if someone who is not considered attractive, fit, or financially wealthy is able to be in a healthy relationship? The defense mechanism applied by the incel community is believed that the man is being "cuckold" meaning that they are okay with their significant other being involved sexually with another person. Incels believe that many beta men who have a significant other to be aware of and promote sexual activities between their wife and an alpha man. Even though they are just speculations, this belief helps the agenda of an incel that women do not want them for their genetics rather than their personality. Another version is known as betabuxx which is a beta male with wealth that Stacey uses for her own gain.

Incel and Chad

Can a woman be an incel? Might as well ask if the chicken or the egg came first. Even though inceldom was created by a woman, many members of the incel community believe that women can acquire sex at a much easier rate than men and therefore cannot be considered an incel or in other terms, femcel. Many of these forums sites have femcels active on the site expressing that only men want Staceys and that due to their weight, height, and hygiene, they also struggle with inceldom. Another question frequently debated on the forums is if gay men can also be incels. Some say yes and some say no. The people that say no believe that men can access gay sex at an easier rate than men trying to have sex with women. This is rebutted though as the gay community is smaller than the straight community meaning that even though you may be attracted to other men, finding a man who is also gay can be difficult to find.

Are incels completely wrong in their thinking and beliefs? Not entirely. The belief that women are attracted to finically stable fit men does have some truth behind it. The attraction is important in any relationship and someone that cannot provide for themselves may not be ready for a relationship. If I did not have a job, lived with my parents, and did not have any goals set for my life, I'm not sure my wife would have gone on a second date with me. I'm not saying you need to have the best life when dating but to have a goal in life to be stable is critical. We all want someone that has some grasp of life and if I'm being shallow on this next part then so be it. Physical attraction is important when dating and being in a relationship. We all have our deal-breakers rather than be height, weight, and hygiene. Even though physical attraction can only go so far, that physical attraction needs to be set at the beginning. With this being said, that does not mean that women are only going to go for the super muscular person. Everyone has a preference and to narrow attraction to one type of body image is faulty thinking.

So why did I bring up a possible terroristic attack and linking it with the incel community? Well, some members of the incel community have been considered violent in the past resulting in the death of themselves and others. Before we move towards the attacks of society, incels are known to have a high suicide rate. Many people that I interacted with in the forums would discuss them "roping" meaning suicide. Even though there was no way to tell if they actually went through they would go dark from the page. The feeling that they are not valued or good enough can push towards suicidal ideations and with no outside interactions with the world, this makes sense. What doesn't help is the encouragement of suicide among other members in the incel community. Some of the incel members may cope with being an incel by trolling and harassing others through the forum this including encouraging the incels that express suicidal ideations.

Elliot Rodgers

On May 23rd, 2014, Elliot Rodger, also known online as ER, would go on a shooting spree in Isla Vista California killing six people and injuring fourteen before killing himself. Before going on his killing spree, Elliot would send a large video and written manifesto blaming women for not wanting him even though he was wealthy and found himself attracted in some ways. He believed that he needed to punish those women who denied him intimacy and therefore also punish men who had a relationship he always wanted. His videos and 141-page manifesto can still be found online. Even though he did not label himself an incel, Elliot has been praised in the incel community by people claiming that he had the "courage" to do what they cannot do. Whenever someone on the forum wants to rope, some encourage them to ER and go out with a bang. This is referring to go on a killing spree before killing themselves. Let me be clear that this is not all incels that like ER or even troll cope to pretend to worship ER for what he did. Sadly, this wouldn't be the last killing in the name of inceldom.

Alek Minassian

In April 23rd, 2018, Alek Minassian would ram his van in Toronto killing ten and injuring sixteen. Unlike Elliot who didn't identify as an incel, Alek would post on his Facebook, "Incel rebellion has already begun" before going on his killing spree. August 4th, 2009, George Sodini would open fire in an LA fitness in Pittsburgh killing three women and injured nine. George would be active online complaining about being rejected by women. Chris Harper-Mercer would kill nine and injure Roseburg, Oregon in 2015 which he left a manifesto discussing how he did not have a girlfriend and even wrote on Elliot Rodger's killing the year before. In July 2020, five self-proclaimed incels were planning to kill women which led to one being arrested for making false statements. The one arrested claimed he injured by a lawnmower even though there is speculation that he was working on building a bomb. From 2009-2020, fourteen attacks have been documented of men killing women due to the frustration of being rejected by women.

Canada has labeled incels as a terrorist group. Others have seen the incels as a cult or even a hate group. Are they these things? Yes and no. Incels are clearly a hate group with many members discussing the anger towards women and Chads and how they wish for the misery of them. The constant expression that society and women are to blame for their depression, self-esteem, and suicidal ideations gives them free rein to spout their anger. In my last post, "the orbiter" some incels believe that Biana Devins deserved to get murdered because of how she had led on her killer. Are the incels a terrorist group. Not at all. The incel community is not organized and many of them do not believe in violence. They are sexually frustrated and hate being rejected. This does not mean that they want to go on a killing spree. With that being said, if I was part of a community that had frequent mass shootings and had supporters for this behavior among the community, I would back out of it completely. 

Todd Phillip's Joker

So what makes me competent in talking about the incel community? Well, I was pretty active in the incel community in September 2019-November 2019, where I spent roughly 2-6 hours active on the forums. I would occasionally be active on the forums all of 2020 as well but did not devote as much time as before. I never pretended to be an incel and I made my present know that I was an outsider looking in. I began to learn from the community and the different types of people that I would meet. Many of them being angry and dished out some cope harassment towards me, calling me a cuck and a betabuxxer. At the time they loved the recently released Joker with many of them putting the joker as their profile picture and praising it to be the best movie they have ever seen. They believed in what the movie was saying about loneliness and mental illness. Even though we didn't see eye to eye on relationships, we also had an interest in video games, movies, books, board games, Warhammer, music, art, and even discussed our favorite types of food. Many people would come to the forum to give "advice" to help incels lose their virginity but for the most part, it was the same "just be confident" or "go to the gym". The longer I spent in the forum the more I realized that some of the incels didn't really want to be out any more. When someone loses their virginity through an actual relationship, they are considered as "ascended" in which they are usually removed from the community for being praised for not being an incel but also envied of others. I met some interesting folks on those forums and I found leaving the forum to be difficult at times. With many of them not having jobs, the activity on the forum was always constant no matter the time of day or night. Many incels struggled with leaving the forum and would ask an admin to ban them due to not being able to leave the forum themselves. I eventually would leave the forum on my own which they would ban me a week later even though I was not active. I never pushed my way of thinking but I would want to point out the contradictions of their thinking. Sure physical attraction is important but would a woman really go for a complete jerk because of their appearance and wealth? Some would, but why would you want to be with them? If not all incels are terrorists then why are all women shallow? Another contradiction was the unrealistic features they wanted on women. The hypocrisy was rampant but that is expected in all forms of the internet. I'm looking at you Facebook, Twitter, and Parler.

The common ground of the incel community is the constant feeling of rejection and the continuous blaming of others. They believe that if they could just have a girlfriend and lose their virginity that their problems will all be resolved. Feelings of hopelessness cause them to express their negative feelings through harassment, suicide, drug abuse, and acts of violence. I cared about the incel community and I believe that they need to be seen as support groups who struggle with depression, low self-esteem, and rejection rather than a hate group with the constant push towards negative behaviors. This feeling of loneliness will only be pushed further with quarantine. The incel community is on the rise and we must help those in need. Loneliness is a terrible thing that affects all of us in some form. 

Thanks for reading everyone. I would love to keep this conversation open. This was all my opinion so feel free to question or comment on anything on this topic.