Dear Elizabeth pt. 3

(Portrait de Madame by Kees Van Dongen)

April 24th 2006

Dear Elizabeth,

Let me start by saying congratulations on the big news. I know it has been a while since I wrote you last. I finally graduated from college, but I'm struggling to find a job that I could use my degree. I'm working at my dad's company, which isn't too bad. I moved back home with the folks, but its not so bad, who doesn't like home cook meals right? I've been sitting at this table in the local library of our home town. The one we would go to get away from everyone. Hiding among the empty aisles full of books. I find it funny that we were always in here, but never read a single book in this library. I remember all our little hiding places in this town. We had some pretty big plans didn't we? I remember you wanted to travel the world and live in different countries. Guess you succeeded in that. I remember all the late nights you and I spent together. All through high school we were the perfect couple. I remember sneaking out and coming to your house just to lay in the bed with you. I remember when we would paint. I mean no one could make a stick figure better than you. I remember our first kiss, when you said you love me, laying in my car. We loved each other and honestly, I couldn't shake it. I'm glad I saw that therapist couple of years back. He told me I shouldn't keep writing you, because it wasn't healthy, but it doesn't matter, he was a really good therapist. I wish you had seen him when you were struggling with that issue near the end, but hey that is behind us right? So the reason why I am really writing this letter is that I recently just moved back with my parents and I started to go with church with them again. Your parents told us that you were engaged. Samuel and you actually have dated longer than us now, and I want to say I am happy for you. I would lie if that apart of me wanted to breakdown. Do you remember that we made a promise that we would be together. We planned to marry at that big church that was in the forest couple hours north? We would talk about how that day would be the best day of our lives. I'm not going to try and hurt you and say that you broke that promise. We've been separated for seven years now, and I know better than to think there was a chance for us to get back. I know all my friends and family tell me that you were gone and that you weren't coming back, but I guess this is what I really needed to hear. I am still with Cindy and I really do love her. She knows about the letters that I wrote to you before. I have been contemplating if I wanted to propose to her for marriage. I already bought the ring, and received her father's blessing. I just had something holding me back lately, and I now know it was you. This is what I need to hear to finally move forward in my life. I will ask Cindy to marry me and I will not let you run me anymore. I hope you are truly happy with Samuel in your life. This is where I would say write me back, but I think it is time to let you go.

Have a Happy Marriage

Ben